Patt-a-cake Take Two


For those of you interested, I consulted with The Little Lion and he agreed that marbling was a bad idea, that an angel vanilla cake would be fine and the emphasis is always on the decoration. So, with his help I had another go.     

Lion tin greasing went without a hitch – I’m bloody good at it now! Emptied packets into mixing bowl – check. Neighbour visited at this point and LL tried to explain that he was baking a cake, so either come in and take part or come back some other day. By the time our chat was over, he was frantic to get on with the mixing.     

Added water to mix and turned electric mixer on – LL finally satisfied that the action had begun. Re-read instructions to ensure correct procedures were being followed. Turned mixer to medium and proceeded to mix (on medium) for 3 minutes. LL decided it was more fun to turn the mixer on and off and on and off and on and off… for 3 minutes, so I made it 4, just to be on the safe side.     

Poured mix into lion tin and placed into pre-heated oven, set alarm to remind me to check oven’s contents and proceeded to clean up. Little Lion helped by pre-licking all utensils and we were packed up and feeling satisfied within 10 minutes. It was at this point that I opened the fridge for a cool bottle of water – baking is thirsty work, I tell you – and swore loudly. The two eggs I was meant to include in the mix stared at me from the fridge door like two horror-stricken eyes.     

I figured 10 minutes in my oven was not enough to set any baking in motion, so I whipped the lion tin out, poured the contents back into the bowl (being careful not to disturb the greased surfaces), cracked the two eggs in and started up the mixer. Little Lion thought all his birthdays had come at once – Who would have thought? Not one, but TWO episodes with the “noi” (translation: “noise” = any electrical tool or appliance that makes a noise, ie: noi bruh = electric toothbrush; mummy noi = electric mixer, eggbeater, food processor, etc; daddy noi = drill, saw, sander, etc; noi mohr = lawn mower).     

This second mix was a short burst on high speed, a lightening pour back into the tin and I whipped that puppy back into the oven. LL had a second helping of batter from all utensils as well as a bonus puddle off the bench where the lion tin had missed the mixing bowl.     

An hour later it was looking fantastic.     

An hour and twenty minutes later, we had done it! It was ready!  

Words cannot describe the feeling…    

At least it tasted good.


Whenever you’re feeling down, like the odds are stacked against you, as though the light at the end of your tunnel just went out, look back on this moment and smile – at least you can make a goddamn packet cake, right?! 

As for me, I’m going to lie down.


5 responses »

  1. I love reading all of these stories!! They are so funny 🙂
    By the way, your book was a hit with me! You’re such a great writer, I hope there’s more to come.


    • Thanks Julia!
      You’ve got to laugh sometimes!
      Feel free to tell the world (about my blog and my book!) – I assure you, there is plenty more to come, it just might be a LOOOOOOOONG time coming… especially if I can’t get this birthday cake under control!


  2. What a laugh!!!! I reckon all mothers that “have a life” ( ie busy with other things) use packet mixes for birthaday cakes…..I do, and from my experiences, children are more interested in eating whats on top!! PS.Hope Little Lion has a great birthday


  3. Pingback: Jog Blog « So what's normal anyway?

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